Since today was a very regular day, that didn't provide me with too much materials for a post. I am going to publish something that might be useful to somebody.
As I was going through my old boxes I found the list that my college literature teacher gave us to help with writing a journal:
* overheard conversations
* Ideas for stories, poems
* lines/passages og a good writing by other writers including song lyrics
* dreams, day and night
* free-writing
* lists
* stories and poems
* "today"
* random thoughts/feelings
* descriptions of people, places and things
* drawing/sketches
* observation, scenes eye-witnessed
* memories
April 17, 2010
April 16, 2010
After seeing some behavior on a subway I made a few notes to myself.
First, don't text when train is pulling into a station. A young man was really upset and jumping up and down when he realized that the doors just closed and aren't opening. :)
Second, be patient with people and just do your own thing. I don't want to be a teacher with a dozen of 7-8 year old children on the crowded subway train. The teacher looked so stressed and intense. Boys were sitting and talking, girls jumping and twisting. Children always amaze me so I like watching them. For some reason whole group was focused on one girl, and told her to sit down and not try to stand up. Everybody told her so, her teacher, her friends, and not just once, but they were telling that to her every few minutes, and she was so patient, and just behaved absolutely normally. No adult would be able to tolerate such annoying attention for that long. There wasn't enough context for me to figure out why people were warning her all the time, she looked like a regular cute girl.
Third, when asked for directions never talk too much. The cute guy was on the train, and asked me what station he needs to get to MIT, and I told him that it is the next one. He called somebody who was supposed to pick him up near it. Suddenly all women around started talking and in a few seconds there was so much info. For a example one girl told him that the street that he was talking about with his phone opponent is really really long and going to far parts of the city. The guy just picked up his bag and walked to the door, but girls kept talking and talking. Women do sometime talk too much.
Have a nice weekend.
First, don't text when train is pulling into a station. A young man was really upset and jumping up and down when he realized that the doors just closed and aren't opening. :)
Second, be patient with people and just do your own thing. I don't want to be a teacher with a dozen of 7-8 year old children on the crowded subway train. The teacher looked so stressed and intense. Boys were sitting and talking, girls jumping and twisting. Children always amaze me so I like watching them. For some reason whole group was focused on one girl, and told her to sit down and not try to stand up. Everybody told her so, her teacher, her friends, and not just once, but they were telling that to her every few minutes, and she was so patient, and just behaved absolutely normally. No adult would be able to tolerate such annoying attention for that long. There wasn't enough context for me to figure out why people were warning her all the time, she looked like a regular cute girl.
Third, when asked for directions never talk too much. The cute guy was on the train, and asked me what station he needs to get to MIT, and I told him that it is the next one. He called somebody who was supposed to pick him up near it. Suddenly all women around started talking and in a few seconds there was so much info. For a example one girl told him that the street that he was talking about with his phone opponent is really really long and going to far parts of the city. The guy just picked up his bag and walked to the door, but girls kept talking and talking. Women do sometime talk too much.
Have a nice weekend.
It was a good and long day.
Cold rainy morning brightened up when I emerged from the subway, and was walking along the street toward my work. Like a Cinderella the street always overcrowded with cars turned into the beautiful wide avenue over night with barely any cars since city is preparing for a marathon on Monday, and parking is prohibited. Somebody put flowers everywhere and fresh wood chips that smelled very good in the humid air, I even saw a worker picking up the gum from side walk. So so nice.
I also made it to the gym, which is a wonderful event, that wasn't happening last couple weeks. It wasn't too crowded and I was able to do everything I planned.
At home new headphones were waiting for me. As I tested them I realized how much my poor ears were suffering recently. For some reason all my phones turned on me. Since I got my first ipod about 5-6 years ago, I had never had any problems with headphones. My ipod broke but phones were working for long long time, so I used one or two pairs for 3-4 years, and than suddenly, in last two months every headphones old or new just stopped working. The only pair that I was using lately was barely alive, only left bud was working, and I was expecting it to give up on me at any moment, and I would be left in the silence. A few days ago I finally got myself together, looked through cnet.com and picked two affordable phones, one for work and one for walking. I missed to listening music in a nice quality so much.
A few small things can make everything better.
Cold rainy morning brightened up when I emerged from the subway, and was walking along the street toward my work. Like a Cinderella the street always overcrowded with cars turned into the beautiful wide avenue over night with barely any cars since city is preparing for a marathon on Monday, and parking is prohibited. Somebody put flowers everywhere and fresh wood chips that smelled very good in the humid air, I even saw a worker picking up the gum from side walk. So so nice.
I also made it to the gym, which is a wonderful event, that wasn't happening last couple weeks. It wasn't too crowded and I was able to do everything I planned.
At home new headphones were waiting for me. As I tested them I realized how much my poor ears were suffering recently. For some reason all my phones turned on me. Since I got my first ipod about 5-6 years ago, I had never had any problems with headphones. My ipod broke but phones were working for long long time, so I used one or two pairs for 3-4 years, and than suddenly, in last two months every headphones old or new just stopped working. The only pair that I was using lately was barely alive, only left bud was working, and I was expecting it to give up on me at any moment, and I would be left in the silence. A few days ago I finally got myself together, looked through cnet.com and picked two affordable phones, one for work and one for walking. I missed to listening music in a nice quality so much.
A few small things can make everything better.
April 15, 2010
April 14, 2010
Today the first step toward changing a little bit my life was made. I sat up the appointment with the driving instructor.
My relationship with cars is a complicated one. During the first 20 years of my life I hardly ever had been in the car. I never minded the commuting as I became older it always provided me with the life theater and of course, it gave me time to read. I never could read in a car, the motion sickness was very first obstacle for me loving the cars. But then my friends started to get cars and I found that those things on four wheals are sometimes very useful especially for the trips to the country side. The traffic back than wasn't too bad in the Moscow. Right now it so horrible that I still prefer commuting even given a chance of riding in the car. If you can imagine more than 10 million people trying to get to work in the morning and than back home, unfortunately reality is even worse than one would imagine. The city is always working on the improving the roads, building new ramps, new routes, and still they say, at the pace the city is growing when they finish current renovations the traffic will be even worse than now. Too many people. Ok I drifted.
So at the same time my friends started getting the cars, I met my husband and we moved here. And I discovered that I now have to start driving, because living in Western Massachusetts you basically can't get almost anywhere if you don't drive. Bus is a rare creature in those parts. I easily got my learners permit, but I almost hated to drive. Having a stick-shift car wasn't helping either. My instructor and me, were almost divorcing every couple weeks, I was crying, he was yelling, not a pretty picture. Things got a bit better when we bought an old used car with automatic transmission. After a few months I passed my driving test and started driving. It wasn't too bad, when you are driving on the quiet western mass roads almost nothing happens, and I even started to like it. I rarely pushed the gas over 50 and avoided highways. Soon it was time to move to the big city where my hubby got a new job. To my surprise I made it, didn't cause a major accident on the route 90 and brought my friend who kept me company on a long drive and my plant safely to our new location.
After that I felt much more confident, and started driving a bit more. But it all lasted only a few weeks until my husband decided that it was not worth having a second car and gave it away since it was old Lincoln. I started commuting again which was fine since we lived in the big city and there was a subway nearby. By the way we lived at the other end of the line that I am using now.
Couple more years passed, and one day I just woke up with the urge to drive, I really wanted to get behind the wheal and we started trying again and I even remembered something and enjoyed the whole thing much more. But I got a job right in the downtown and finding a parking was very hard there and commute was very good so having a car wasn't necessary, once again I decided not to switch.
A few more years passed and here I am still not driving and taking a driving lessons at the age of 32. It is going to be a very interesting experience. I hope something from my passed experiences will resurface so I won't have to start from scratch.
The instructor even on the phone sounded like a character. I found him on Yelp! which is also new thing for me, everybody liked and recommended him. I am very hopeful at this point, too bad he is pretty booked and we will start only at the begging of May, but on the other hand we don't have a second car either yet. Let's see what mister "cash is my middle name" will teach me. :)
My relationship with cars is a complicated one. During the first 20 years of my life I hardly ever had been in the car. I never minded the commuting as I became older it always provided me with the life theater and of course, it gave me time to read. I never could read in a car, the motion sickness was very first obstacle for me loving the cars. But then my friends started to get cars and I found that those things on four wheals are sometimes very useful especially for the trips to the country side. The traffic back than wasn't too bad in the Moscow. Right now it so horrible that I still prefer commuting even given a chance of riding in the car. If you can imagine more than 10 million people trying to get to work in the morning and than back home, unfortunately reality is even worse than one would imagine. The city is always working on the improving the roads, building new ramps, new routes, and still they say, at the pace the city is growing when they finish current renovations the traffic will be even worse than now. Too many people. Ok I drifted.
So at the same time my friends started getting the cars, I met my husband and we moved here. And I discovered that I now have to start driving, because living in Western Massachusetts you basically can't get almost anywhere if you don't drive. Bus is a rare creature in those parts. I easily got my learners permit, but I almost hated to drive. Having a stick-shift car wasn't helping either. My instructor and me, were almost divorcing every couple weeks, I was crying, he was yelling, not a pretty picture. Things got a bit better when we bought an old used car with automatic transmission. After a few months I passed my driving test and started driving. It wasn't too bad, when you are driving on the quiet western mass roads almost nothing happens, and I even started to like it. I rarely pushed the gas over 50 and avoided highways. Soon it was time to move to the big city where my hubby got a new job. To my surprise I made it, didn't cause a major accident on the route 90 and brought my friend who kept me company on a long drive and my plant safely to our new location.
After that I felt much more confident, and started driving a bit more. But it all lasted only a few weeks until my husband decided that it was not worth having a second car and gave it away since it was old Lincoln. I started commuting again which was fine since we lived in the big city and there was a subway nearby. By the way we lived at the other end of the line that I am using now.
Couple more years passed, and one day I just woke up with the urge to drive, I really wanted to get behind the wheal and we started trying again and I even remembered something and enjoyed the whole thing much more. But I got a job right in the downtown and finding a parking was very hard there and commute was very good so having a car wasn't necessary, once again I decided not to switch.
A few more years passed and here I am still not driving and taking a driving lessons at the age of 32. It is going to be a very interesting experience. I hope something from my passed experiences will resurface so I won't have to start from scratch.
The instructor even on the phone sounded like a character. I found him on Yelp! which is also new thing for me, everybody liked and recommended him. I am very hopeful at this point, too bad he is pretty booked and we will start only at the begging of May, but on the other hand we don't have a second car either yet. Let's see what mister "cash is my middle name" will teach me. :)
John Francis walks the Earth | Video on TED.com
John Francis walks the Earth | Video on TED.com
So many amazing people are out there
So many amazing people are out there
April 13, 2010
Today I am going to post a song that I am listening a lot recently, it seems pretty straight forward at first, but after a few listens I am finding more and more subtext:
What Was It You Wanted (Bob Dylan)
What Was It You Wanted (Bob Dylan)
What was it you wanted?
Tell me again so I’ll know.
What’s happening in there,
What’s going on in your show.
What was it you wanted,
Could you say it again?
I’ll be back in a minute
You can get it together by then.
What was it you wanted
You can tell me, I’m back,
We can start it all over
Get it back on the track,
You got my attention,
Go ahead, speak.
What was it you wanted
When you were kissing my cheek?
Was there somebody looking
When you give me that kiss
Someone there in the shadows
Someone that I might have missed?
Is there something you needed,
Something I don’t understand.
What was it you wanted,
Do I have it here in my hand?
Whatever you wanted
Slipped out of my mind,
Would you remind me again
If you’d be so kind.
Has the record been breaking,
Did the needle just skip,
Is there somebody waiting,
Was there a slip of the lip?
What was it you wanted
I ain’t keeping score
Are you the same person
That was here before?
Is it something important?
Maybe not.
What was it you wanted?
Tell me again I forgot.
Whatever you wanted
What could it be
Did somebody tell you
That you could get it from me
Is it something that comes natural
Is it easy to say,
Why do you want it,
Who are you anyway?
Is the scenery changing,
Am I getting it wrong,
Is the whole thing going backwards,
Are they playing our song?
Where were you when it started
Do you want it for free
What was it you wanted
Are you talking to me?
April 12, 2010
The subway. So many different people are riding the subway with me. Today I was on the train with the marine, the business man, the mom with the baby, the teenagers, and the bum who obviously just peed himself and nobody cared. People here come in all shapes, sizes and ages.
On a subway or a bus I often see the opportunity to check on myself. Because when there are a few spots available, you have to make a choice where to sit, and a dozens of little thoughts are flying through your mind: why do I prefer this place over that one, who is sitting next to it and etc. I like to think that I am open-minded and certain characteristics don't influence me so I am testing myself from time to time.
Today as I was doing that on the ride home I discovered that I had an uneasy feeling. There was no reason for it, nothing happened, but I was very much aware how many people are riding the train with me, and I have to trust them to be civil and adequate. At some point I was left alone in the car but it didn't help me to relax just heightened the sense of being unsafe and thinking that I should dig up my mace from the times I was jogging a lot.
I had no reasons to feel that way, so I investigated where those feelings could come from and I figured out that it is probably the result of the bad night sleep, I was turning and tossing all night, and was feeling more tired today than usual, and I know that my sleep is pretty important for me.
The little things like that can influence us, our moods and behaviors and most of the time we don't know that it is happening because we don't have time to stop, think and analyze, why we just did what we did, or feel the certain way. I always find amusing when people with such assurance say that they are objective. I don't think humans are capable of being objective, because we carry so much feelings and emotions and many other things at any point of the day. And everything is coming out from deep inside of us to the outside. We can try to get rid of our preconceptions as much as we can but we never can get rid of all of them because we might not be even aware that we have them.
Our believe system is created from our experience growing up in a certain environment, meeting certain people, going through the life events and our personalities are formed by all of that. All of that information is processed in someway, conclusions are made and you move on and don't even know how much or how little this thing, that just happened, influenced you. Everyone goes through millions of big and little experiences which makes us a complex creatures. Of course not to forget that with the age we are less and less capable of stepping out of our comfort zone and already formed opinions. It is very hard to be truly objective after all so I strongly believe that there are no objective people.
My applauds to anyone who have reached this point. Thank you.
On a subway or a bus I often see the opportunity to check on myself. Because when there are a few spots available, you have to make a choice where to sit, and a dozens of little thoughts are flying through your mind: why do I prefer this place over that one, who is sitting next to it and etc. I like to think that I am open-minded and certain characteristics don't influence me so I am testing myself from time to time.
Today as I was doing that on the ride home I discovered that I had an uneasy feeling. There was no reason for it, nothing happened, but I was very much aware how many people are riding the train with me, and I have to trust them to be civil and adequate. At some point I was left alone in the car but it didn't help me to relax just heightened the sense of being unsafe and thinking that I should dig up my mace from the times I was jogging a lot.
I had no reasons to feel that way, so I investigated where those feelings could come from and I figured out that it is probably the result of the bad night sleep, I was turning and tossing all night, and was feeling more tired today than usual, and I know that my sleep is pretty important for me.
The little things like that can influence us, our moods and behaviors and most of the time we don't know that it is happening because we don't have time to stop, think and analyze, why we just did what we did, or feel the certain way. I always find amusing when people with such assurance say that they are objective. I don't think humans are capable of being objective, because we carry so much feelings and emotions and many other things at any point of the day. And everything is coming out from deep inside of us to the outside. We can try to get rid of our preconceptions as much as we can but we never can get rid of all of them because we might not be even aware that we have them.
Our believe system is created from our experience growing up in a certain environment, meeting certain people, going through the life events and our personalities are formed by all of that. All of that information is processed in someway, conclusions are made and you move on and don't even know how much or how little this thing, that just happened, influenced you. Everyone goes through millions of big and little experiences which makes us a complex creatures. Of course not to forget that with the age we are less and less capable of stepping out of our comfort zone and already formed opinions. It is very hard to be truly objective after all so I strongly believe that there are no objective people.
My applauds to anyone who have reached this point. Thank you.
April 11, 2010
Just finished my first hardcover book in two years and it feels very good. I bought it on one of my last trips to Moscow and it has waited all that time to be read. It was a good read and I am glad I brought it.
The story is sat up in the years followed the world war two. Although I was born much later but I heard the stories from my grandparents, my parents and my aunt about that time. Actually I experienced the end of the era they were all part of. And this book created such a detailed picture of the time and people who lived back then, that I sometimes felt that I am still a child who is listening the stories told by my relatives.
I hope this book will survive until my son grows up and he will have enough language and love for written word to read it. I am not sure that I could describe everything to him as well as the author did.
Sometimes I wish we could preserve the experiences and stories that are told by people we know in little boxes. And than our children would open them and see what we saw. Our world is changing so much and so fast, that my son will have no idea what I am talking about. And even if we take him back to Russia, it changed so much it won't help. I wish he could meet my aunt, who could easily be one of the characters in this book. Sadly he is too small to appreciate what she has to offer and she is too old to wait.
Many feelings were stirred in me by this book, mostly sad. I guess all of the people who left their country and settled somewhere else have this melancholia from time to time which comes with the territory. A few weeks ago the taxi driver who was Russian and (of course) had a famous psychologist as a friend who told him that immigration is a biggest trauma that one can experience, most people just don't realize it. Looking at the people I know I agree with him. When walking through the city my eye catching the certain people from the crowd and I almost never wrong. Those people have something in their eyes that gives them away.
That wraps up another week. The book by the way is by Lyudmila Ulitskaya, "Sincerely yours, Shurik"
The story is sat up in the years followed the world war two. Although I was born much later but I heard the stories from my grandparents, my parents and my aunt about that time. Actually I experienced the end of the era they were all part of. And this book created such a detailed picture of the time and people who lived back then, that I sometimes felt that I am still a child who is listening the stories told by my relatives.
I hope this book will survive until my son grows up and he will have enough language and love for written word to read it. I am not sure that I could describe everything to him as well as the author did.
Sometimes I wish we could preserve the experiences and stories that are told by people we know in little boxes. And than our children would open them and see what we saw. Our world is changing so much and so fast, that my son will have no idea what I am talking about. And even if we take him back to Russia, it changed so much it won't help. I wish he could meet my aunt, who could easily be one of the characters in this book. Sadly he is too small to appreciate what she has to offer and she is too old to wait.
Many feelings were stirred in me by this book, mostly sad. I guess all of the people who left their country and settled somewhere else have this melancholia from time to time which comes with the territory. A few weeks ago the taxi driver who was Russian and (of course) had a famous psychologist as a friend who told him that immigration is a biggest trauma that one can experience, most people just don't realize it. Looking at the people I know I agree with him. When walking through the city my eye catching the certain people from the crowd and I almost never wrong. Those people have something in their eyes that gives them away.
That wraps up another week. The book by the way is by Lyudmila Ulitskaya, "Sincerely yours, Shurik"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)